A Few of My Favorite Things

As I have often said, I am firmly against Product Junkie-ism.  I believe in finding a few products that work and sticking to them.  However, there is no harm in trying out new things from time to time, and sometimes you will find new products that you prefer or work better.

I generally do not do product reviews, and I have never done a solicited product review for anyone.  But in the past few months have tried some different products that I have added into my personal maintenance routine, so I wanted to share a few of my favorite things for loc care and maintenance:

1. L'Oreal EverPure Sulfate-Free Color Care System

When you have colored tresses, it is important to protect your investment by using shampoos and conditioners that will minimize fading.  This shampoo and the accompanying conditioners are designed for colored hair, but L'Oreal also makes several other products for non-color treated hair in this same sulfate-free line (my daughter uses the EverCreme products).  The EverPure shampoo and conditioner leave my locs incredibly soft, but not weighed down.  I use the conditioner regularly, but the Restorative Masque is great for using after you've done a clarifying treatment on your hair (which strips out the excess oils and goo from your locs) or anytime your locs feel dried out.  And the best part is that it leaves your locs smelling absolutely amazing with its rosemary and juniper scent. This has by far been my favorite shampoo and conditioner for color treated hair.

2.  SheaMoisture African Black Soap Deep Cleansing Shampoo and Purification Masque

I recently purchased this shampoo and conditioner on a whim while looking for a clarifying shampoo.  It was on sale at Target so I decided to try it.  As I was shampooing my locs, I honestly didn't like the feel at all.  I actually had to look at my hair to make sure it was lathering, and it felt like I was drying my hair all the way out.  The purification masque kind of had the same feel, like it wasn't very moisturizing.  HOWEVER, keep in mind that these are clarifying products, meaning they are meant to strip the excess oils and buildup out of your hair.  Once I moisturized my locs and dried them, they felt amazing.  It definitely did the job of removing the gunk that was weighing down and dulling my locs, and my hair feels much softer and lighter and the sheen came back.  I'm definitely keeping these in the rotation for the occasional clarifying treatment in addition to my apple cider vinegar rinses.

3.  Ixora Botanical Beauty Macani Miracle Butter

I learned about this small independent business via her customers on Twitter who absolutely swear by her all-natural products.  I happened to be  looking for a new moisturizing product, as I had been using coconut oil which was very moisturizing, but I was noticing that it was starting to weigh my locs down after awhile (thus my need to seek out the products in #2 above).  After reading a few tweet reviews, I decided to order the Macani Miracle Butter.  I. Am. HOOKED.  This is, by far, the best moisturizing product I have ever used in my 10 years of locking.   I am always hesitant to use butters on my locs for fear of it building up and weighing my locs down, but this stuff just melts into your hair.  And a little of Ixora products truly do go a long way; just using a small amount leaves my locs incredibly soft and shiny with zero weight or greasy residue.  I apply it right after washing my locs before I dry them, and usually don't have to apply any more until after my next washing (though I do wash my locs once or twice a week).  The ingredients include Macadamia Nut Butter, Nilotica Shea Butter, Illipe Butter, Argan Oil, Jamaican Black Castor Oil, Emu Oil, Honey, Peppermint Oil, Tea Tree Oil, and Ylang Ylang Oil.  The smell is absolutely wonderful and compliments the other products I use in my hair.  I've also tried (and loved) a few of her other products, including the Whip It Up shea butter, the Cara Hermosa facial butter, the Ash Today Gone Tomorrow butter, and......

4. Ixora Botanical Beauty Loc and Twist Butter

Results of the Ixora Loc & Twist Butter

I had previously been using Carol's Daughter Loc Butter for retwisting my roots, but I was never really 100% comfortable with it because it contains beeswax, which is a big bad naughty no-no for loc buildup.  However, since I only using it sparingly on just the roots of the locs along my hairline (I latch the rest of my hair and rarely retwist my entire head), I was okay with using it.  So when Ixora promised to develop a loc butter that contained no beeswax, I was intrigued.  Like the Macani Miracle Butter, I absolutely love it.  It is incredibly light and creamy, but has a great hold that leaves my roots smooth and shiny using just a very tiny dab on each loc.  Ingredients include Nilotica Shea Butter, Hempseed Butter, Avocado Butter, Aloe Vera Gel, Coconut Oil, Jamaican Black Castor Oil, Macadamia Oil, Peppermint Oil, Teatree Oil, Vitamin E Oil.  Again, smells amazing, and feels great on my scalp.  I must also say that I've been impressed with how fast Ixora makes and ships their products.  And for you environmentally conscious people (or people like me who love free stuff) they have a recycling program.  Good customer service is always a plus with me. 

So there you have my all-star cast of products that have me absolutely in love with my locs right now.  They have never felt so soft, light and shiny in all my years of locking.  I often find myself mindlessly stroking my own locs because I just love how they feel, and I love when I turn my head just right and catch a whiff of their delectable scent.  These are a few of my favorite things, and I hope some of them become a few of yours, too.

It's Been a Long Time.... I Shouldn'tve Left You

I started this blog two years ago with the thought that I would fill it regularly with all of my loc wisdom that I have accumulated since 2002. I'm sorry to admit that I have failed miserably, and for that I apologize. But, in my mind, there just isn't that much to locs that I can't sum up in one sentence: Wash 'em, moisturize 'em, twist/latch 'em (if you feel like it), and style 'em. On a day-to-day basis, that's pretty much all I do with my locs. I don't go through 8 hour routines of washing, no 'pooing, deep conditioning, detangling, moisturizing, twisting, untwisting, protective styling, etc. that the loose natural women go through. That's part of the reason I went back to locs in the first place (NOT saying that locs are better than loose natural for that reason, because loose naturals are gorgeous as well). I got over my Product Junkie phase, trying out a new product or technique every other week, a very long time ago. Basically what I am trying to say is: I just don't have much to say.

However, I do get plenty of questions on Twitter about various things that perhaps in my 10 years of loc'dom that I take for granted. I'm sure I had a thousand and one questions when I first started locking.... In fact, I am sure of it, because I was on at least three Yahoogroup loc listservs (back in my day, we didn't have all these websites and message boards and blogs and Twitter and Facebook groups). Forgive my old head status.

So, I need your help, and your questions. What do you want and need to know about locs? What questions do you have? Feel free to e-mail me at naturalafrodisiacblog [at] gmail.com or hit me up on Twitter @afrodisiaclocs and perhaps we can help each other out.

Afrodisiac Formula #3: NaturaLocs

Natural Afrodisac is proud to present NaturaLocs, a loc (and music) aficionado from "across the pond" as she shares her afrodisiac formula:
 

Tell us who you are, where you're from, what you do.

Hi, I'm NaturaLocs, a music teacher from England UK.

When and why did you decide to go natural and/or start locs?

I decided that locs were for me in Nov 2011 and entered 2012 as a new natural. I think locs are beautiful and I needed a change. Locs will signify my transition from a negative past to a positive future.

What method did you use to transition to natural hair and/or what method did you use to start your locs?

I started wearing kinky twist extensions for about 2 months and cut my hair down to a TWA shortly after. My locs were started with comb coils.

What is your favorite way to style your hair?

I like wearing head scarves and throw in occasional flat twists when shrinkage isn't against me :)

What are 3 products or tools you cannot live without?

I couldn't live without water, olive oil and baking soda for a good cleanse.

What have been some of the challenges and rewards you've experienced with going natural and/or cultivating locs? 

Social confidence has been a challenge recently, it's hard for people to understand why you'd have such "rough" looking hair by choice! I've been inspired to change other aspects of my life and have become more self aware.

What advice do you have for anyone interested in going natural and/or growing locs?

6 months progress

Do it when it feels right, prepare for how to look after your hair in it's new state and avoid obsessing over the wealth of info on the net it can be overwhelming. Only you know for certain what your hair is going through - act accordingly not impulsively.

Where can we find you on the interweb? 

My corner of the web can be found here: http://naturalocs.blogspot.co.uk 
Hair and loc questions to: naturalocs@hotmail.co.uk

The Secret to Long Natural Hair is Out!

Finally!! Natural hair vlogger ChescaLocs has discovered the secret to long, beautiful natural hair.  Whether you have a fro, twist or locs, this product works for everyone.  And she was kind enough to share it with us all.  Even Myleik Teele, founder of CurlBox, endorses this product.  Now, you too can get the long, luxurious locs or full, bountiful afro that you have long coveted on the internet, TV, and magazines.  Hold onto your wallets, because all you need is.......  *drum roll*

Yup. That's it.  If you were hoping for another "miracle" serum or oil to add to the big basket of products under your sink, I'm sorry to tell you that this is the only guaranteed way to have long (natural) hair.   We have become such an instant gratification society that people forget the value and effectiveness of good old fashioned patience.  There is a Zen quote that is a favorite of mine: "Sitting quietly, doing nothing, spring comes and the grass grows by itself."  It is the exact same thing with your hair.  I have heard of people going so far as to put anti-fungal yeast infection medication on their scalp in attempts to make their hair grow faster, when bottom line it just takes patience.  There is nothing that you need to do or add, just let nature do what it does.

I view my locs as a life lesson in patience; that's what they represent to me, and what I hope my children have taken from their own locs. People ask us "Oh! How did you get your hair so long and pretty??" and my answer is "Nothing."  "Nothing" is an oversimplified answer, but the real answer is not much more complicated: it's patience.  Patience is the reason why I am a big advocate of the Big Chop method of transitioning to natural hair.  Patience is why I am not an advocate of "loc extensions" as a way of starting locs.  It is hair, it WILL grow back with no effort or intervention on your part (besides, of course, keeping your overall health in order).  Stop obsessing over the length of your hair and one day you will look up and realize "Wow.... my hair is really long."   

So, save the Monistat for your lady parts, leave the new miracle products on the store shelf, and put away your rulers.  You already have everything you need to get the long, beautiful hair that you so desperately desire....Patience.

Reflections on One Year

One year and one month ago I made the decision to cut off my locs of 7 years. After a month of reflection, tears, frustration and a lot of hair products, I was ready to leave my natural hair pit stop and get back on my locs journey. Cutting (and unraveling) my locs was a purging process and an outward sign of my commitment to change myself. At the time I had hoped that the seriousness of the sacrifice would be appreciated by others, but now a year later, I have accepted that it is only important that one person appreciates the true depth and meaning of the whole process: Me.

India Arie may say that she is not her hair, but I have no problem with admitting the contrary: I AM MY HAIR. If you follow me on Twitter, you would know that natural hair is not just a fad for me or something to make me look pretty. From the day I cut my perm off 12 years ago, natural hair has always been a philosophy and a statement for me. A statement of my refusal to accept European standards of beauty, a statement that there was nothing wrong with my hair the texture the Most High created it, a statement that I would not yield to the pressure of society and my peers telling me how I ought to look. I went natural before it was the “thing” to do. I did not have any support groups, or websites, or blogs, all I had was a little book by Lonnice Brittenum Bonner called “Good Hair: For Colored Girls Who Considered Weaves When the Chemicals Became Too Ruff” and a lot of youthful determination. My hair expresses who I am and what I represent, and the way I choose to express that is through locs. I may change up my clothing style, from business suits to hippie attire to sexy vixen, but the one thing that remains constant that conveys to the world who I am underneath all of that is my hair. I recently interviewed for a job and the interviewer expressed concerns to my friend who referred me that I was too reserved. The thing my friend pointed out to him to show him otherwise? My locs. Though I was in a suit, had my locs nicely done up in curls, my hair still conveyed that I am not your average woman, I do not follow the mainstream, I am my own person.



Bantu knot braid-out

I went back to locs because what was NOT me was the loose natural, which lasted only a month. I have absolutely nothing against loose natural hair and I love it and embrace it (on others) just as I do locs. I just feel that I looked better with locs, that they are more “me.” I did not immediately go back to locs after I cut the first set, even though I had plenty enough hair to do so at any time. But all that was part of my sacrifice and penance. I needed to wait until I was ready to loc again, until I felt that I had purged the residual negative energy from my hair and from my life. I did not want to start over with a new set of locs and harness any of the negativity that I was trying to escape from. When I started my locs over, I wanted it to be a truly fresh start. I even went to a new loctician, a woman who was full of life and joy, and who unfortunately shortly thereafter had her life cut too short by a drunk driver. I took that as a sign that this loc journey was one that I had to do on my own, just as the change within myself could ultimately only be done by me. I had to choose not to repeat the mistakes of the past.



Curled braid-out

This past year has been an entire process of penance and a lesson in patience. Change does not come overnight. It is a step-by-step, day-by-day process, making gradual progress over time. Going through the locking process was an outward manifestation of my inner change. Cutting my locs and going to have my single strand twists put in to start the locking processing were only the first steps, my commitment to journey along a path of growth and development that did not conclude on that November day in 2009. With my life, as well as my locs, I was committed not to make the same mistakes of the past and I made sure I took actions so those mistakes would not occur. I avoided harmful people; I avoided harmful products. I avoided situations I would later regret; I avoided over-manipulation. I took care to nurture relationships; I took care to nurture my locs. Over time, in both my life and my locs, I started to see positive progress, but all the while I was forced to focus on the day-to-day, not the end result. Yes, I looked forward to the day where I could shampoo without unraveling, the day when I did not feel constant guilt, the day where I had enough hair to do an updo, the day when my word was once again good. The outside reflected the inside, the process was one in the same.


Flat twists & bun

I am now at the one year mark, looking back over my journey thus far. My locs have gone from 2” hollow coils to 6” solid locs that are well into their maturation phase. I can curl them, bantu knot them, do braid outs, and flat twist them to the back into a bun. Retwists are now optional and I can wash my locs as often as I please, AND use conditioner from time to time if I so desire. In my personal life, I have become more responsible with my money, more proactive in handling my personal business, have forgiven myself for my past sins, have a more positive outlook, I am less self-centered and more transparent in my dealings with people. However, the journey is by no means over.

I really hope that people around me, and especially people I love, can see and believe these things as well. I have had some recognition and acknowledgment of the change from those who know me; even my ex-husband said he could see a definite change in me over the past year; he does not even know any of the background or events leading to or away from last fall’s purging and new beginnings, and we do not even speak or interact regularly. People say I look happier, I smile more, laugh more, that my joy radiates. Much of this comes from being more content in my relationship, but even that stems from my commitment and efforts to change and his help along the way. And though not everyone in my life may appreciate the true significance of my journey, looking back I have to be content with the fact that I did this for myself and everything else will take care of itself. Not everyone has chosen, or has been chosen, to come along this journey with me; I have definitely lost some friendships, abandoned some friendships, and scaled back other friendships. I can only go forward knowing in my heart and knowing that the Most High knows that I am a better person than I was in October 2009, and, like my locs, I will continue to grow, change and be better. There is no going back.

Peju's Big (Locs) Chop

I am pleased to present a guest post by my dear friend, Peju, who was kind enough to share her personal big chop story (locs edition) with Natural Afrodisiac.  Even for those of us who love our locs, sometimes you get to the point where it's time to let go.  Here is her story.  Enjoy.

 

Stats

Last Perm: April 2000 (in preparation for HS graduation)

Locversary 1.0: May 18, 2006

Chopversary 1.0: October 30, 2010

I’ve had a number of people ask me why I decided to cut my locs. My response has typically been synonymous to my current relationship status – It’s Complicated. The truth - it’s not very complicated at all.

I cut my hair because I wanted and needed a fresh start.

I’ve been going through a bit of a “transition phase” for the past year. I had essentially been living a Badu-esque bag-lady lifestyle since the folks at my BigLaw job asked me to “explore other opportunities” (translation: laid me off) in May 2009. I won’t go into the gory details of all the things that have happened in that year, but suffice it to say, life has been very interesting. Halloween weekend marked the end of the couch-surfing stage, because my tenants were moving out of my house just in time for me to move back in. The timing was perfect. I’m currently reinventing myself in a number of ways – personally, professionally, spiritually – and it was necessary for me reflect those transformations in my outward appearance as well.

So I did it. The BC (Big Chop). I moved back to Naptown Halloween weekend. I woke up that Saturday, knowing that I could not go back into my house carrying the same negative energy that had played such a large role in my departure. As you can see from my statistics listed above, I’ve been #TeamNaturalHair for many years now. I’ve never really had issues with self-confidence and recognized my own inner and outer beauty. But over the last couple years, that beauty felt stifled, as if it wasn’t being fully realized.

So I woke up on Saturday October 30, 2010, said a long prayer and drove to the barbershop. As soon as I sat down in the chair, there was a sense of calm that came over me. I wasn’t scared. I wasn’t nervous. I know this is gonna sound uber-cheesy, but it was like my soul was crying out to me. My heart was saying, “If you are ever going to be able to put me back together again, you have to start by first forgiving yourself and then transforming yourself.” I agreed. Inwardly, I felt one way, but outwardly I was projecting something else. Something angry...bitter...broken. Contrary to popular belief, that is not me.

When it was done, I felt renewed!! I felt rejuvenated!! I looked in the mirror, and for the first time in a long time, I saw Peju! The real Peju.

I saw my eyes, and my cheeks, and my lips, and most importantly...

My smile.  I saw my smile in a way that I had not seen in a long time. It was a genuinely happy smile!! Deeply, completely, and thoroughly happy!

In fact, happiness isn’t the right word. The feeling that came over me when I stood and looked in the mirror...

 

Serenity.

I was finally rid of the burdens, baggage, regrets, mistakes, pains, betrayals, which I had perpetrated against MYSELF. Does that mean life is perfect? Of course not. But I feel a sense of hope and confidence that I have never felt before. And that’s a deliciously dangerous thing. Because those who knew the old Peju can tell you – confidence was never something I was lacking!!!

Afrodisiac Formula #2: Dina

Natural Afrodisiac is pleased to present Dina, a Detroit native and long time loc lover, and her afrodisiac formula:

Tell us who you are, where you’re from, what you do.

My name is Dina Peace. I am a native Detroiter. I live in Ferndale Michigan which is a Detroit suburb. I have my background in journalism, and creative writing but I have discovered a love for vegan cooking and baking

When and why did you decide to go natural and/or start locs?

In 1999, I had a bad experience at this well known hair salon in Detroit so I decided then to wear my hair natural I had my first perm when I was 6 or 7 so I never had a good hair day. But I figured that it would be a good time for me to explore unchartered waters. Mind you people like Erykah Badu and Lauryn Hill were really helping to usher in the Neo-Soul style: denim, silver jewelry, African cloth and nappy hair. It was like the late 60s and early 70s revisited and I was down with it. I was 21 years old.

What method did you use to transition to natural hair and/or what method did you use to start your locs?

I actually chopped off my shoulder length permed hair in the early spring of 1999. I hate short hair on me so I grew it out. It was a little afro, then I wore the box braids, then I began to do my own two-strand twists. After awhile, I became tired of taking them down so I wondered what it would be like to keep them in long term? I had met this woman who would become my best friend and she had locs for three years. I thought about it and in September of 2000, I asked her to two-strand twist my hair so they would grow into locs. My life has changed remarkably since.

What is your favorite way to style your hair?

My favorite way? I don’t have one yet! LOL! I love styles that emphasize length but I also dig styles that are like updos and such. Perfect for nights out and on hot sweltering days in Detroit.

What are 3 products or tools you cannot live without?

I am not a product junkie and I latchhook my locs (similar to Sisterlocking) but I can’t live without a good moisturizing shampoo, my African Pride hair oil (it smells so GOOD!) and of course my rug latchhook tool.

What have been some of the challenges and rewards you’ve experienced with going natural and/or cultivating locs?

A challenge for me is my flaky scalp during cold weather. I have found though that when you make a strong tea of sage and rosemary tea bags and rinse your hair and scalp with it before you wash, then the flakes go away. The most rewarding thing about wearing locs is that I am celebrating my hair texture as God made it. I used to want so called “good hair” when I was a kid but my Kunta Kente supa dupa kinky hair is PERFECT for locs! LOL. So really, my hair has ALWAYS been good.

What advice do you have for anyone interested in going natural and/or growing locs?

Learn about yourself from the process and enjoy it. I know women who are scared stiff to start locs. Don’t be afraid. If it is not for you then so be it but how would you know if you don’t try? Natural hair is beautiful. It is sexy and it is far healthier than the creamy crack. Trust me on this…

Where can we find you on the interweb?

You can find me on Twitter @dinapeace. I have a music that I update daily at http://www.musickhead.com/ and I have a blog that chronicles me researching my family tree and how this inspires me to cook vegan adaptations of traditional meals from Africa and all over the Diaspora. The blog is at http://www.foodculturefamily.wordpress.com/.

Locs: Myths, Truths and Realities

(Originally posted on May 6, 2006 to my MySpace.... yes I said MySpace.... blog)

There are a lot of myths out there about locs and people who have locs, so I just wanted to set the record straight once and for all on a few things:

1. Yes, I DO wash my locs!!! This is by far the biggest myth about folks with locs... that we don't wash our hair. I'm here to tell you... that's nasty. A friend of mine asked me what I thought to be one of the dumbest questions ever, which was "How do you wash your locs?" Well, I'll break it down for ya: I take the shampoo bottle, squeeze the shampoo into my hand, lather it into my locs, rinse and repeat. Then I take the conditioner bottle, squeeze some conditioner into my hand, and work it into my locs from the ends up. Then I shave my legs, contemplate life, or whatever else I can do in 2-5 minutes in the shower to allow the conditioner to sit. Then I rinse it out. After towel drying, I either sit under a dryer or use a blow dryer. I do this about once a week, which is just as often, if not MORE often, than other black women with straightened hair.

2. I go to a hairstylist, and yes he costs a grip. My loctician is Thierry Baptiste, the most bad-ass loc stylist in the country (he travels nationally and internationally to do seminars). I primarily go to him to have my locs dyed/highlighted. And yes, you CAN dye locs!! And yes, he uses regular hair dye.... same stuff used on your hair. Yesterday he got on me about letting my ends get to the state that they were in.... unraveling curly-qs. He said next time I came in looking like that, we would have to fight. So yes, locs also need to have their ends trimmed, and they also need to be cut into a style or shape. One of the shittiest comments I've ever received was from... well, I guess I'll go ahead and bust her ass out.... [Name Omitted to Protect the Ignorant], when she said something to the effect of calling me "Miss 'I-don't-have-to-do-my-hair'". This was a day after I'd just dropped $120 on getting my locs colored AND styled. Real ig'nant......

3. I style my locs. I set them on rollers, braid or twist them for a crinkle set, flat twist them, cornrow them..... you name it. If it can be done with un-loc'd hair, some variation of it can be done with loc'd hair. Thierry does the most fabulous styles and updos that would make you jealous and wish you had some locs. No joke.

4. I didn't have to "do" anything to my hair to make it loc. Locs are THE most natural hair style for black folks ever. This is how locs are formed: First you gotta start with natural hair (I'm talking black natural hair here... it's a whole 'nother process for caucasian hair). Thierry comb coiled/single strand twisted my hair into individual twists. Then you just don't comb the twists (but again, you DO wash them!).... you just palm roll them to keep them separated and somewhat neat while the locs are forming. Other than that, mother nature does the rest. The curls naturally coil around themselves to form locs. I didn't use beeswax, pommade, back-combing, or anything like that to get my locs to form.... my hair just literally did its thang. And less is more... the more you try to eff wit 'em, the more likely you are to eff 'em up.

5. My locs are permenant. I cannot "take them down" (thus the reason why I can wash them like any other hair and it doesn't unravel). If I'm done with locs, I have to cut them off. But no biggie, I've had 1" of hair before.

6. Ask permission before touching, please.... I hate when people come up and touch my hair without permission. You wouldn't do it to anyone else (try to go up to a sista and touch her weave!) so don't do it to a person with locs. First of all, I ain't a damn petting zoo, and more importantly you are violating my personal space. Because I'm so passive, I usually don't get too belligerent with the person, but you may catch a beat down and/or cursing out if you do that to someone else. I actually don't mind for those who are truly curious, because I'm on a personal crusade to educate and dispel myths about locs, but just act like you got some home training.

I think my loctician says it best when he said that locs are just larger strands of hair.... but they are still hair and are treated much like you'd treat hair in any other form. Locs can be accepted in "corporate america" because I've found that they really don't care as long as you keep your hair neat and professional.... and that goes for ANYONE. They are not going to accept your raggedy weave over my well groomed locs just 'cause it's straight.

Any other questions? Get at me.

Loc Life Lessons

Today, July 1st, is Locs Day, a day to celebrate and appreciate those with locs and those who admire locs.  To me, locs are more than just a hairstyle, but rather a lifestyle.  The experience of growing, cutting, and growing locs again has influenced who I am as a person and how I look at myself and life.  Over the past 8 years I have learned many valuable lessons thanks to my locs, so I wanted to share 5 lessons that my locs have taught me:

1) Anything worth having is worth waiting for.

Cultivating locs is the ultimate exercise in patience.  We are an instant gratification society and are used to instant results.  If we want different hair, we go out and buy it or pay someone to change it.  Growing locs, however, forces you to abandon this need for instant gratification and instead wait for what you want. Even the most intricate microbraids don't even come close to comparing to how long it takes to grow locs.  It takes at least a year for locs to resemble their final form, and even beyond that they are still changing maturing.  Until that time they can be difficult to deal with, fuzzy, unruly, and some days just look downright bad.  Though I have my days where I say "Man I can't wait for these locs to mature!" I have learned to not worry about them and instead focus on other areas of my life that matter, and let nature take care of itself.  You cannot have locs without being willing and able to wait and endure these frustrations.  I've seen the end result of such patience in my first set of locs, so with this set I have learned to enjoy each stage and celebrate the progress in my journey.

2) Too much of a good thing is not a good thing.

When growing locs, less is more.  There are a lot of products out there that claim to help grow locs, but most of them are unnecessary.  There are a few products that do work well with locs (and which product works best is an individual thing), but even with these products too much of them causes more problems.  I already confessed to my former product junkie status and how that almost ruined my locs, but that lesson really stressed to me the importance of moderation and temperance when dealing with good things, not just the bad.  It is important to be able to realized when enough is enough.

3) Time heals all wounds.

After I had my product junkie incident, I was devastated.  I thought I had completely ruined my locs and that I would have to cut them off.  They looked REALLY bad and I was just heartbroken whenever I would see other people's smooth, cylindrical locs.  But I didn't give up, and eventually the locs began to heal themselves.  There was nothing I could do in the meantime aside from trying to smooth out the lumps gradually each time I twisted, but ultimately it was just time that made them better.  No matter how bleak, difficult or hurtful a situation may seem, with patience and caring time heals everything.

4) The only person's opinion who matters is your own.

When you make the decision to grow locs, there will be no shortage of naysayers trying to tell you that you are making a mistake.  People will tell you that you're never going to be able to find a job, or that locs will make people look at you negatively, or you won't be able to find a man.  They will look at your unruly baby and teenage locs and think your hair looks bad.  Or (like my last stylist) will try to convince you that your loose natural is pretty and you shouldn't mess it up with locs.  My kids had it even worse with the outright teasing, name calling and ridicule from other children in school; most adults have enough sense not to do that, but the sentiments are still the same.  However, if you know that you have a goal and vision for yourself and know that one day it will all pay off, everyone else's opinions and criticisms don't matter.  I will never forget my son singing "Back then they didn't want me/Now I'm loc'd they all on me."  Your critics will later be the same people singing your praises and wishing they had the tenacity and patience to do it as well. 

5) Know when to let go.

It is said, and I believe, locs conduct and hold energy, both positive and negative, from outside and from within.  Without fail, when I am feeling bad, my locs are unruly and uncooperative.  When I'm feeling great, they look amazing.  Over time, negativity can accumulate in your locs. I know there are countless stories of people cutting their locs after going through a particularly difficult life experience, or when they are moving on to a different stage in life for this precise reason.  In the past 3 years I went through an extremely trying period in my life, including divorce, unemployment, and just losing myself and my way in general.  I knew, but didn't want to believe, the "loc folklore" that they hold negativity, and instead tried to hold onto them and work past it.  But no matter what I did, they just looked terrible.  I was using the same styling products and methods, but they just weren't responding.  Finally I came to the realization that it was just time for them to go.  Of course I was scared, because my locs were ME.  That's how everyone knew me, the tall yellow lawyer with locs.  But I knew that particular era of me was over, and in order to move on I had to let go. We can't hold on to the past and expect to be able to move forward.  Some things in life are to be enjoyed for awhile, but then we have to let go and make room for new experiences. 

My Heart Weeps.... R.I.P. Eboni

I was working on some other posts for you all when my friend called me this morning to tell me that my loctician, Eboni Dodson, was killed last night by a drunk driver. Apparently she was having car trouble and she and a few others were trying to push the car off of the road when a pick-up truck hit her car. The others saw the truck and were able to move out of the way but she was inside the car and was hit.

I've known Eboni for years.... she worked in the same salon as my nail artist and was a mutual friend of a good friend of mine so I've been to social gatherings with her a few times. Eboni started my daughter's locs two years ago, and I myself turned to her just a few months ago to start my new set of locs. I loved her sweet, funny, talkative, outgoing and overall positive nature.... just the type of person who should be cultivating and styling locs. I only had the chance to sit in her chair once, but was looking forward to the day when my locs were finally fully matured and I could return to experience more of her talent. Sadly, now I will never get that chance.

My prayers go out to her young child, her girlfriend, her family and friends. My heart weeps today over the loss of such a beautiful person. Rest in Peace Eboni.... you are loved and missed.

3 Months: Those Unruly Teens

So it's been about 3 months now since I started my second foray into locs, and I must say that I'm very pleased with the progress. A lot of people find themselves frustrated with the "teenage" phase of locs. They're no longer the cute little spirals that they were 2 months ago, but rather, just as the name implies, they are somewhat unruly and have a mind of their own, and are a little harder to control. It is during this phase that "budding" starts to occur and you have a perpetual case of the frizzies. This is the phase that deters most people from locking, especially if you're one of those people who can't stand to have a hair out of place. These are the same folks who will ooooh and aaaaah over your mature locs and tell you how they are "thinking about" locking (with their bone straight perm), but will talk about what a hot mess someone with teenage locs look. Insert your favorite cliche phrase here, but the one that comes to mind is "you can't make wine without crushing some grapes"...... oh, wait..... maybe it's "you can't make omelets without breaking some eggs." But I don't like omelets, or eggs period for that matter, but I do like wine. A lot. So we'll go with that one. In any event, basically shit has to get messy before it's perfect.

I have actually been quite enjoying the teenage phase this time around (I wish I could say the same thing about dealing with my son). My locs are the perfect size such that the ends are perpetual curly-q's, which look a lot like how my un-loc'd hair looked when I put gel in it and shook it out. The curly-q's sort of mask the chaos going on underneath. I'm also enjoying the fullness I get after 1 or 2 days following a re-twist. This is actually the look I was trying to go for when my hair was un-loc'd, but it would never stay that way for very long and was a pain to have to wet and gel all the time. Now I literally get up, take off whatever head covering I had on the night before, put a few drops of Carol's Daughter Lisa's Hair Elixir in my hands and vigorously tousle the fuck out of it. A fluff and a shake and I'm ready to go.

Products.... every natural girl's favorite subject. The most common discussions I read between natural hair ladies is about what products people recommend. And for good reason; the right products can make all the difference between hot and hot mess. Thanks to my very thoughtful beau, I'm currently using Carol's Daugther products in my hair, and I LOVING them. I use Black Vanilla Herbal shampoo (after washing my scalp with some t-gel shampoo cuz my scalp is quite mutinous) and retwist with Loc Butter. The gift set also came with Hair Milk and Black Vanilla Hair Smoothie conditioner, but conditioner on baby/teenage locs is bad (m'kay?) so I use it on my daughter's locs.

I had a bit of hesitation with using the Loc Butter because one of the ingredients is beeswax, which is a naughty no-no for grooming locs due to build up (and attracting dirt and causing stiffness). However, I've found Loc Butter to be satiny smooth, not tacky, and doesn't cause any more build up than Organic Root Stimulator Loc & Twist Gel, if not less. And it smells fantastic. And speaking of smelling fantastic, I am in love with Lisa's Hair Elixir. I wish I could cover my body in it (but then I'd have none left for my hair) because it smells SO good. Though I put it on my daughter's hair one day (because I was feeling generous, but normally I'm a product Scrooge) and she said "Ewww Mommy! Now I smell all herb-y!" I love the smells of patchouli, lemongrass, rosemary, peppermint, sage, and all those other "herb-y" essential oils so it is perfect for me. My hair ends up smelling good, is shiny, and the loc butter gives it just enough hold (I hate skinny overtwisted locs on my head). Bueno.

Oh, and just in case it's not readily apparent, I haven't been back to my loctician since she first started them. I do my own washing, retwisting and styling. I think everyone with locs should at least learn how to do basic loc grooming (wash & retwist). Sadly, a lot don't. I really could do basic loc grooming as a side hustle, but I've already explained the reasons why I don't.

So there we are. Wild, happy, unruly, drama free locs. I love it.


*I would be remiss if I did not once again emphasize the dangers of product addiction. When it comes to locs, less is more. You could cultivate locs with 2 products: Shampoo and a light oil. That's it. All the butters and creams and gels and pomades are just extra grooming products and aren't going to make your locs form any faster. Just remember, the more product you put in your locs, the more product will be (and possibly stay) in your locs. So be easy.

One Month Down

Wanted to update you all on the progress of my loc journey. About a month ago (November 7th) I started my second set of locs after having a personal crisis need for change in my life. Well, it's been a month so far, and here's where things stand:

Although my loctician had advised me not to wash my locs for 2 months (?!?!!) I couldn't take it anymore and went against her orders and washed it a few days before this picture was taken. Cleaning my scalp with astringent just wasn't cutting it, and if anything was making my scalp go berserk (I have dermatitis issues that get worse in the winter). I also work out at marital arts class 2 to 3 times a week. I needed water and soap.

So here's what I did: I rubber banded the ends of my hair in about 5 sections in attempts to minimize untwisting. I didn't use the shower head to wet my hair; rather, I used a water bottle and poured the water gently over my head. This was to cause the least amount of disturbance to the coils. I used T-Gel shampoo (remember, no "creamy" shampoos cuz they contain conditioner.... a no-no for new locs) which I applied using my fingertips and gently rubbed my scalp. Again I rinsed using the water bottle. I wrapped a towel around my head for several minutes and squeezed, not rubbed, to dry off the excess water. The goal in this whole process is to hold the coils intact as much as possible.

I retwisted my hair using double prong clips, diluted setting lotion and a very small amount of Organic Root Stimulator Loc 'n Twist Gel. I didn't really use a palm rolling technique since the twists are still mostly hollow coils, but instead I very gently twisted them with my fingertips to smooth down the loose hairs, using just enough ORS gel to barely coat my fingertip. I finished off with some oil and let it dry. Everything turned out beautifully, although it was a little flat at first, but a few days and an evening of sweating in tae kwon do class took care of that.

I've since switched from using astringent in between washing to using witch hazel, which also has astringent properties but contains a lot less alcohol to dry and irritate your scalp. I do this about once a week and very gently retwist (over twisting can cause breakage). I just can't go weeks without doing anything to them, one because of my scalp issues, and two because I believe that just because you have locs it does not mean you cannot groom your hair.

So far I am absolutely loving my hair and am not regretting starting over for one minute. I think the curly-qs at the ends are rather adorable, and I'm starting to see the beginning of budding about 1/2 inch from the roots which I'm very excited about because it means I can shampoo more often. I'm still taking things slowly because, like many things in life, when you get to eager and rush you make mistakes. But so far, so good.

Stay tuned for more updates, my pretties!

Why I will NOT do your hair

Back in the good old days when I had a full head of long, happy, mature locs, I used to do my own hair. I had my locs started by a loctician, but I quickly figured out how to wash and retwist them myself ($65 every two weeks is one helluva incentive to figure it out). It's not rocket science and locticians aren't doing anything fancy in a basic loc grooming appointment. I would reserve my trips to the loctician for color and trims, and maybe the occasional special occasion style. After awhile I started to figure out how to do more than just retwisting and loc grooming. I read discussion forums and watched YouTube tutorials (Shawnta715 has some good ones) and just started playing in my locs. Roller sets, crinkles, flat twists, up-dos....I taught myself to do all that. Because my hair was hardly ever worn straight down the way most people are used to seeing locs, I would get tons of compliments with people asking who my stylist was. They were astounded when I said I did my own hair.

And then the dreaded (no pun intended) question would inevitably follow from any guy (and a few women) who himself had locs: "Can you do my hair??" I've always seen it as a lame attempt at a pick up line, but even if it's not and you really just want need someone to do your hair, the answer is still the same: NO.

And here is why:

1. I don't KNOW you!! I'm not about to be all up in your house or have you all up in mine doing your hair! I don't know what sinister plans you may have for me at your place, or whether you'd believe that the lame pick up line actually worked and assume that I'd accept payment in sexual favors. I'm really not cool with just anybody knowing where I live either. I have stranger danger, and that's just.....no. McGruff the Crime Dog would be disappointed.

2. Whatever you're gonna pay me isn't worth it. There's an element of economies of scale with stylists. They are getting $50+ per head all day, every day. They have all their supplies there and ready to go. And in bulk. I would have to take time to go to your house (but see #1), bring all my products (because obviously if you are needing someone else to do your hair, you don't have much by way of your own), and work with some ill equipped bath tub or shower (I have a WaterPik.... it's great, but still not a shampoo bowl), which is way more time and hassle than the average stylist who is set up to do hair. Add to that the fact that you will probably want a hook-up on the price, and after all that $40 just wouldn't be worth my time.

3. I only deal with the dirt of people I love. Being that you don't know how to groom your own hair, I would be willing to guess that it doesn't get done as regularly as it should. And by regularly, in my world that's once a week to every 1.5 weeks. Washed, oiled, retwisted, everything. I have a 15 year old son who plays football and lives with his dad, so I've seen (and smelled) what neglected locs are like (as much as I'm on him about doing his own hair regularly). I will get down and dirty and use some elbow grease (and clarifying shampoo) to get all the dirt and buildup out of my kids' hair, but I birthed them and have been dealing with their disgustingness for 15 years (diapers, puke, sweaty uniforms, etc.) Yours.... um, not so much.

4. Doing hair is kind of.... well.... intimate. My weakness.... the thing that will have my knees weak and, um.... well yea..... is for someone to play in my hair. There is nothing like a good scalp massage. Stylists are different because they tend to be very business-like with their hands (i.e. heavy handed) even though it still feels good. But when I do hair, I have to get a little more involved in the process because this isn't just another day at the office for me. First of all, think about washing.... I don't know too many people with a shampoo bowl in their house (except for my friend's momma who still did curls for those who just couldn't let go), which means that I have to be leaned over the tub scrubbing locs (because, see # 3 above, it probably needs it). I'm not too comfortable with having my DDs hanging 5 inches above your head for 20 minutes while I wash your hair (even though you might be). Plus it makes my back hurt, so add that to # 2 above. Then the retwisting..... keep in mind I've been doing my kids' locs for 5 years, and for 5 years my goal has been to cause the least amount of pain (i.e. crying) as possible. No matter how frustrated I get, doing their hair has always been approached as a labor of love. And for that reason I only do the hair of people I care about, because I really have no other motivation.

5. There's a mirror image problem. This particularly is an issue when doing styles (which are most often requested by women). Styling my locs with my hands above my head while looking in a mirror is a totally different thing from doing a style with someone sitting in front of me. My hands, arms and eyes are used to seeing and feeling my hair in a certain way. The different approach is disorienting and it just doesn't come out the same. I can throw some flat twists in my hair in 5 minutes, but doing the same thing to my daughter's locs takes a bit more effort. I would hate for someone to come to me thinking they are gonna get the same style they see on my head and end up with some travesty of a style instead.

So what's the lesson here, loved ones? Just because a person has locs does not mean we do locs. Stylists chose that profession for a reason, and on the flip side I did not choose it for a reason. So if you ask if I can do your hair and I hesitate or outright say no (my usual response is "I only do my and my kids' hair... that's enough"), don't take it personal. Unless you are my friend-- and a good friend at that-- do not ask me to do your hair. And even in that case, see # 4 above.

Really, what everyone with locs should do is learn how to do them yourself. It's not mission impossible. Locticians aren't doing anything magical up there. Twist and clip, that's basically all it is (maybe I'll give you a step-by-step blog post later). I did the equivalent of throwing my son in the swimming pool by refusing to do his hair again until he learned how to do it himself, and eventually he did (and I agreed to do his hair for him again, but now he can keep it up in between seeing me). In this economy it would behoove you to take an evening, pull up a YouTube tutorial and just try it. That way when you have that extra sweaty workout, or walk through that raging dust storm, or want to go swimming, you don't have to wait til your next appointment and drop $75 to get your hair back looking right. Then eventually random people in the mall will be asking you to do their hair, too.

And so it begins..... again

That's it....I couldn't take it anymore. I desperately miss my locs. Yes, that first set had to go, and I'd had all intentions to "enjoy" my un-loc'd hair... the curls, the two-strand twists, the afro puffs. But I've come to the conclusion that I hate doing my hair every morning locs are just more.... Me.

I went to a new loctician/natural hair stylist this time named Eboni. For reasons I'm not going to go into here, going to my old stylist just wasn't in the stars (but mainly because he never responded to my messages). It's cool because it fits with this whole notion of "change" and I'd seen Eboni's work on one of my good friends, plus she did my daughter's locs (my stylist wouldn't do kids' hair). I had her start them smaller this time and she did them perfectly... the size seems to conform much better to my natural curl pattern and (so far) seems to stay better. I'm still taken aback from time to time when I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror because it's just so short.... the shortest it's been in over a decade. But.... oh well. It's hair. It'll grow back.

So for anyone out there who has ever been curious as to how locs "work", I'll enlighten you with a few of the basics of the loc cultivation process:

1) You don't have to "do" anything to locs to create them.

One of the most common questions I used to get was "how do you get your hair to do that??" The simple answer is... nothing. Locking is a completely natural process in which the curls of the hair intertwine with each other over time to form locs. If all you did was simply quit combing your hair, you would eventually end up with locs (albeit rather lumpy and uneven locs, better known as "freeform" locs). Yes, I go to a loctician for the initial twisting to form the base pattern for the locs, but after that it's all about time and proper care. Retwisting and palm rolling are grooming techniques, NOT locking techniques. You may do a search for locking techniques and come across sites that talk about backcombing and such.... this is NOT for black hair. Locs on caucasian hair (or any other extremely fine hair texture) is a totally different thing. Black hair locs on its own.

2) People with "good hair" have locs, too.

In the month since I took my locs down, I've been telling people that I eventually planned to start another set. The response across the board has been "Whyyyy?? Your hair is so PRETTY!" or, the response that makes me cringe, "Girl, you've got that 'good hair' why would you want to loc it?" (the term "good hair" makes me see red). When I went to my appointment, Eboni tried to talk me out of starting my locs, even jokingly refusing to twist my hair. Yes, coarser hair textures tend to loc easier.... in fact, that's the main reason I started my daughter's locs, because combing her hair was torture (for us both). But locs aren't just a last resort for those who are happy to be extra nappy. But "good hair" will loc, too. It may take a little more patience, but that aspect actually appeals to me. Everything worth having is worth working and waiting for.

3) Locs can (and should) be washed..... but just not at first.

This is my least favorite part of the locking process. I'm used to washing my hair at least every 3 or 4 days. Eboni said not to wash my hair for the next 2 MONTHS, meaning basically I can't wash my hair until 2010. Not to get all Mr. Wizard on you, but water breaks the molecular bonds between strands of hair. This is why curls (and presses) die in humidity and rain. When locking, you want those strands of hair to stay as close and intimate as possible until they start to intertwine and tangle together. Before you say "ewwwwwww!" let me stress that not washing does not mean not cleaning. During those initial few weeks (and in between periodic washings) the scalp should be thoroughly cleaned with an astringent like SeaBreeze.

(Tip: if your boo-thang has locs, sitting and helping them SeaBreeze their scalp is a great way to ensure that your night ends happily. Trust me.)

4) When it comes to products, more is less.

You don't need any products to form locs. It's very common for new loc-ees to get excited and join all kinds of forums where people are telling you to try this product and that product, and before you know it you're a product junkie. People will espouse to using bees wax or pomades or gels that are supposedly designed to form locs.... wholly unnecessary. Not only will this stuff build up in your locs, but it also attracts dirt. Think about what happens when you spill something sticky on the floor and don't clean it up all the way. You know how that spot gets dirtier than the rest of the floor? Yea, same concept. This was one big eff up that I made with my first set of locs. I used way too much Organic Root Stimulator Loc 'n Twist gel, noticed it was building up, then tried a regimen to remove the buildup. Well, in the process I basically removed the budding locs.... or rather, the buds (the part that starts to tangle) came unraveled and slid down the locs, making them lumpy and uneven. Eventually they looked ok, but my hair never really recovered from that initial screw up and they were always lumpy in some places.

Basically all you need is a light oil (shea butter or olive oil based oils are good, as well as a few others), water and some setting lotion. The only product I might recommend is the ORS Loc 'n Twist gel, but even this should be used very sparingly. Run your finger over the surface of the gel to put just a thin coating on your fingertip. Again, I will stress.... locs form on their own. The products do NOT form the locs, just groom them.

5) The main key to locs is patience.

There is no way to speed up the locking process. It's all about time. It takes at least 9 months to a year for locs to form, and even after that they continue to mature and firm up. The locking process starts about an inch or two from the root with "budding". Small masses of tangled hair start to form that look like... well.... buds (yes, those types of buds). These buds continue to extend down the loc as the hair further intertwines and the locs mature. If you want to read about the 5 stages of locking, you can find a good blog post here. For me, locs are a labor of love, and it's something that many people admire but few have the patience to actually do.

So, ready to see the beginning of my new crown? *drumroll*

*claps hands excitedly* (and yes, that is my kung fu uniform, and yes, they actually held up pretty well through my workout)

So there it is. I'll keep you periodically posted and updated on the progress (for anyone who's ever wanted to know how all this works). With my first set of locs I had a whole blog dedicated to my loc journey. I think it's gone now, though.... it may be some poor abandoned zombie blog out there in the blogosphere.

The Aftermath: Life Without Locs

A few weeks ago when I decided to lop off my locs, there was one teeny tiny consideration that I didn't fully think about: I actually have to do my hair everyday now. For seven years all I basically had to do to my hair every morning was take off the scarf. Anything elaborate or time consuming was usually done the night (or several days) before....the most I'd ever have to do is unbraid/untwist/unroll it. Even when I'd forget to tie a scarf on it, I'd still wake up looking presentable, which was great during those times when I needed to rush out real quick or be an early morning vixen.

But now..... entirely different scenario. I actually have to DO my hair. I've been told I have that "good hair" (which makes me cringe every time someone says that and restrain myself from hopping up on my natural hair soap box) which basically means I wet my hair, throw in some curl defining gel (mixed with some good ole Ampro Clear Ice for hold and shake. Voila! Little ringlett curls. Which are nice and all. But it's getting to be winter time, meaning that I'm perpetually leaving the house with wet hair, and my inner mommy is screaming at me to 1) not do this so I don't catch pneumonia, and 2) put a hat on, but the hat will mess up the still drying curls and get all wet and gross from the gel. Ok, so you say blowdry it first..... but then I'm still left with the hat hair problem. Then I hate the fact that I have all this product in my hair that I have to wash out all the time and how it makes my hands sticky. I miss one tub of Loc n Twist Gel lasting me 6 months.

At night, I either have to wear a scarf to bed (very un-sexy) still with no guarantee that it will look like much of anything when I wake up in the morning, and if I don't I wake up looking like Buckwheat and Darla's long lost love child. Sure the ringlett curls are nice during the day, but at night it's just another lopsided fro. No more sexily pushing my locs out of my face or running my fingers through them.... now I'm just trying to smash it down into some half way presentable shape so my dude doesn't feel like he's waking up next to Don King. And if there was any wild rumpusing going on the night before.... forget about it. It's definitely NOT looking good.

I have rediscovered the two-strand twist as a way of styling my hair, either wearing the twists or untwisting them into crinkles. That seems to be a little more lasting (for 2 or 3 days anyway) and slightly more rumpus-proof, but not totally because of this "good hair" problem which makes my hair not quite coarse enough to keep its hold. But now I'm back to the same problem that lead me to loc my hair in the first place..... two strand twisting is so effing TIME CONSUMING! I spend at LEAST two hours on it, whereas retwisting my locs took all of about 30 minutes and lasted at least a week (even factoring in rumpusing). However, I haven't tested out its ability to withstand martial arts (twists yes, crinkles no), which I have a feeling is going to totally destroy any two-strand twist induced style from all the sweating.

Ok, loved ones..... this was merely a rant. I'm not trying to discourage ANYONE from going natural, because at the end of the day I'm still doing a HELLUVA lot less than what I had to go through when I had a perm. I love being able to wash my hair whenever I want to and not have to plan out a block of time to wash, dry, straighten, curl, etc. I love the fact that my hair isn't damaged and breaking off due to heat and chemicals. I love that I can walk in the rain, go on water rides, and go swimming without fear of the water's effect on my hours of work spent pressing it out.

(Sidenote: That the thing I never really understood about perms. You STILL have to press it with heat!! Sheesh.....)

All I'm saying is..... I miss my locs. A lot. And this just further demonstrates and reiterates what a sacrifice (in the killing goats on an alter sense) that was for me. I don't regret doing it, but I'm looking forward to the day when I can get twisted back up.

And then that's going to be a whole 'nother long difficult process......

The END = Entirely New Direction

(originally posted October 20, 2009 at Idiosyncratic Thoughts of an Unheeded Prophetess)

There's a saying or myth or theory that our bodies are completely regenerated every seven years, meaning the cells that you had seven years ago have been completely replaced. Basically, we are not the same "people" that we were seven years ago, at least from a biological standpoint.

In October 2002 I started my "loc journey", and in October 2009, I ended it.

If you have locs or know someone who has locs, you will often hear the concept that locs transmit and hold energy, both positive and negative. Honestly, when I first started locking my hair, I thought this was a bunch of malarkey. But as time went on I started to notice that when I was in a good mood and happy, my locs looked fantastic. When I was feeling crappy or was sick, they acted a fool. I could use the exact same grooming regimen, the exact same styling techniques, and the exact same products, but my mood made the ultimate determination as to whether they would look great or just okay.

As I've alluded to in previous posts (and discussed in depth in my predecessor blog), I've been through A LOT of challenges and hard times over the past three years, primarily dealing with a divorce and career implosion. My locs would have their good days and bad days, but I could always manage to get them back to looking good.

Well, in the past few months, they finally crapped out on me.

In the past several weeks I've been dealing with a tremendous amount of sadness and regret and hurt stemming from my own bad decision making, and I really, really hurt someone I love very much over things that were from or should have remained in the past. I got fed up with myself and fed up with my baggage and fed up with EVERYTHING and went on a delete and purge mission. Contact numbers.... deleted. E-mail and chat...... blocked and deleted. Old pictures transferred from one Blackberry to another..... deleted. Then I turned to myself..... deleted my blog dedicated to my experiences with my divorce, deleted my Twitter account, and I told myself once and for all that I was going to be the person that I KNOW that I am, not this person that got mired down in drama and hurt and negativity.

Whenever I'm feeling particularly stressed I feel an urge to cut my hair as a means of freeing myself from negativity, but I (luckily) never had the cajones to do it. But last week I finally looked at my locs and said "You have got to go." My scalp was a dermatological nightmare, my locs were thinning (several of them had to be "married" to the adjacent loc so they wouldn't fall out), and they just stuck out every which way. They just started to feel like a weight that I had to get out from under. I knew that this was unlike the previous feelings I'd had about them before..... this time was for real. I felt like if I were truly committed to change and growth, I had to get rid of the locs that were holding years of negative energy.

At first I was just going to cut them off myself down to the roots... the urge was very strong because I just wanted them GONE, but I didn't want to be rash and end up really regretting my decision. I really wished I had someone close to me that could have helped me.... I've heard of people having friends and loved ones do the honors, but honestly, I had nobody around who would really understand. I also have NO money to pay a professional to do it, but I thought I'd ask my loctician anyway to see how much he would charge. He told me that if I allowed him to do a "trend cut" and take pictures that he would do it for free (he's VERY artistic and does these wild, impractical styles on his clients who are about to cut their locs off anyway) which I was excited about, but then I didn't hear back from him after asking when he thought he could do it. I was literally getting panicked at the thought of having to go several more weeks. So I took that as a sign that this was something that I would have to do myself.... that I NEEDED to do myself.

The way I went about removing my locs I would NOT recommend to anyone unless you have a helluva lot of patience and the texture of hair that would allow for it. Basically, I unraveled my locs. Call it vanity or whatever, but I really was not looking forward to the idea of having to sport a TWA (teenie weenie afro) for a few months, but I was willing to do it, particularly considering that I somewhat wanted to make myself less "hollerable" (i.e. no desire to get back into the dating game any time soon.... not saying that guys don't like short naturals, but I think I personally look better with longer hair). I knew from years of having the ends of my locs unravel about 1/2 cm or so every time I washed them that they would come undone with only a slightly unreasonable amount of effort. I went and got some detangling shampoo, some Organic Root Stimulator Hair Mayonnaise Deep Conditioner, and some metal picks and got to work.

First I cut about 5" off the back, which was longer because of the way my hair had been cut, making the locs all the same length in a bob just above my shoulders. Then I washed and conditioned my hair, leaving the deep conditioner on for about 2 hours to soften up the locs. I was going to cut the locs down to about 2" of loc'd hair, but then I tried one test loc to see if I could undo it without cutting off any more length, and sure enough..... I could.

This is what I used to pick each individual loc apart:

Um yea.... that all used to be one piece. And there were actually 4 prongs on the pick portion (I have no clue where the last one went). And they used to be straight. I used the metal prongs to to unravel and remove the loc'd hair bit by bit, which probably took about 5 minutes for EACH loc. Then I used the comb part to rake out all of the shedded hair that makes up the bulk of locs. In total, this is all that came out:

You can see the only part of my loc that I actually cut.... not very much. I was actually really proud of how little buildup I had in my locs, thanks primarily to my loctician's insistence that no products are necessary to loc your hair, and a little product, if you use anything at all, goes a LONG way. Also, I washed my hair a lot.... actually more than I ever did when I had a perm, which is contrary to what many people believe about people with locs. I'd hate to see what this would have looked like if I'd used some heavy wax or pomade to loc my hair.

It took me three days to finish all of this. Yes, 3 DAYS. I started Sunday night and finished Tuesday afternoon (I was home sick with my daughter, so no, I did not take off work for this). Let me just say..... I will NEVER do this again. But right now I felt like I NEEDED to do this, that the time and the struggle and the work was my penance, my symbol and reminder to myself that I could not change and eliminate negativity so quickly and easily, but rather it took a lot of time, patience and work. And I literally paid in blood as well:

That's from the pick slipping and the metal pick scraping across my skin (and yes, it still stings). My thumb is gouged up as well from holding each loc and pushing the metal prongs through each one over and over and over. I ended up with quite a bit of hair left, enough to pull into a small ponytail. And being that I didn't do much cutting, I still maintained a decent shape and don't really need to trim it up (for now).

So..... my "crowning glory" is gone. My attribute that got me the most (publicly verbalized) compliments is no more. This was my sacrifice to myself, to my life, to karma, to everyone I've loved and everyone I've hurt. This isn't lip service, loved ones. This is REAL.

Before (at the height of their "glory").......

After.....

For now I shall sport my natural, but one day I do plan on going back to locs. They are just "me". It was just time for that first set to go. Although I loved my locs and will probably miss them, I'm content with my decision. I'm sure many people won't understand it, and think I was nuts for cutting my "long pretty hair" (I'm NOT looking forward to my 90 year old grandmother's reaction). A few people know where I'm coming from, and those are the people I really count amongst my friends.

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~Dr. Seuss